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Share Your Story

You’re not alone. Please share your story here so that others can benefit from your experiences. We can help each other heal and can take action together.

* Please note that we do not share your information with other organizations. We are here to support you and we may reach out to you to learn more about your story. Please let us know immediately via email if you are contacted by groups other than Kasem Cares as a result of your communication with us.

166 Comments
  • Sondra Thurman
    June 9, 2015 at 4:48 pm

    Just curious if anyone could give me direction on where to get justice for my two small children. I have no money to modify custody order.

    My case was domestic violence, when I broke it off with my abuser because he began abusing our 2 year old son too. His mother and him fought me for custody and was granted to them. He had a violent history, restraining orders is how all his relationships end. He alienates the children against me terribly. He will tell them that they get to come to my house and then of course it’s not a scheduled visit, then the our children get upset with me because I didn’t show up. I NEVER talk badly of their father. I took my child in the middle class very seriously.

    He is truly abusing these children, mental and physical, DHS has done several investigations of allegations made towards their father. He has a good pitiful story but law enforcement and DHS believe me to be the one who lies to get him in trouble. I don’t call DHS because it’s a lost cause. Officers recently observed our daughter refusing to get out of my vehicle to go back with her father. She was screaming, banging her head on my window and I have video of me taking her out of my home and placing her in my vehicle to go meet her father. She said she didn’t want to go to her father’s because it is boring. Her actions were very extreme for a child experiencing boredom, in my opinion.

    I am not brainwashing these children, I have to bring justice to these two innocent victims, Their father often with holds my visitaions for months at a time, never let’s me have them on holidays. I can’t be a part of my son’s education because he has extreme anxiety when I am at his school, he’s afraid his dad will find out. I used to ask how school was going, I no longer do so because he gets extremely angry and tells me I DON’T GO TO SCHOOL.!! The last time I went to the school dad did see me and he switched his school, when I found out where that was he switched him back to the first school.

    I have documentation, pictures, videos my story is true, nothing dramatized on my part.

    Since it was domestic violence he shouldn’t of been allowed to fight me for custody, my opinion. If I dated someone today that had a violent record and I left my children with him alone and he injured them, I would be charged right along with him. Rightfully so, but my ex can have custody of his children. This is extremely upsetting to me and can’t happen to any other children in this world. The judge in our case gave my abuser the biggest weapon ever to use on me,,,MY CHILDREN

    I need direction on where to turn to show someone the DHS reports and the errors in them. I always ask for family counseling to be mandatory when DHS talks to me because of the games that are played, but my ex always refuses, the last report said he was concerned that with his district court plans to have my rights terminated, that counseling on coparenting would hurt his case. REALLY for one I have done nothing to have my rights terminated. I have no record. Haven’t been in trouble with the law. He is a convicted felon.

    I just don’t know where to turn. I want to take him to court and have custody modified but I have no money to start the process.

    After I bring justice to these two helpless children, I want to go further and make sure a bill passes child custody can’t be given to the abuser, so easily at least.

    I’m begging any knowledge anyone may have to lead me in the right direction would be very greatly appreciated by this heart broken family.

  • Lorin Breece
    May 28, 2015 at 10:46 pm

    I had been taking care of my father, with Alzheimer’s for over five years, and not one person in my family wanted to help me with him. They would only call for money. Then, he fell in the kitchen and broke his hip. While in the recovery center, one sister who hadn’t seen him in over three years, even though she lived across the freeway, tried to get POA… then the other sister drove here from Texas, and using her old POA from a trip that he had to the hospital years ago, she got him released from the hospital and carried him into a bank with her daughter, cleaned it out and drove away with him back to Texas. She cashed in his insurance policies, and got conservatorship over him, getting all of his four thousand dollars in pension and SSI. My POA wasn’t valid due to it not being notarized because of my expired drivers license. Also, I didn’t feel the need to worry because this sister hadn’t seen any of us in over seven years and was faking terminal illness in Texas to get money, even though she was healthy and fine. To get the point, I haven’t heard my fathers voice or seen him in two years. I did make sure that my sister put him in a nursing home, by calling adult protective services, but she put him in one where she gets to decide who gets to see and talk to him. Every time I’ve called, they won’t allow me to talk to my own father. If he knew what was going on, and was lucid, he was be livid and devastated. He never trusted my sister and has told me and others many times that he loved her because she was his daughter but didn’t like her as a person and didn’t trust her. I can’t afford a lawyer, and I know if tried to see him, they would not allow me to. My other family members can’t talk to him either and we are all frustrated. My sister did this out of pure greed, that’s all. She doesn’t care about him or his well being and wouldn’t have put him in danger after surgery or with his disease by driving him cross the country from Cali to Texas if she did. I don’t know what to do. It should be illegal for the nursing home not to allow his own family to talk to him or see him. I know that he doesn’t have that much longer to live and I would love to hear his voice and see his face again before he does. I’m heartbroken and I don’t know what to do. Would appreciate any advice or help from anyone, anywhere at this time. Thank you for reading my story. xxooo

  • Stephanie Garcia
    May 23, 2015 at 2:03 pm

  • Sherry Laible-White
    May 21, 2015 at 3:51 am

    Following the death of my father, my grandchildren and I were no longer allowed to visit my Mother. Se was often left alone in a remote rural area with a moderate to severe case of dementia as diagnosed by the top Alzheimer researcher in Central Illinois. She was allowed to drive for 2 years endangering herself and the public. My brothers would get very angry when I would bring up removing her vehicle. Thankfully they did get a caregiver for her after a couple hospitalizations from dehydration and weight loss. Other suggestions were not taken seriously when the caregiver continued to get headaches from the smell in the house. Hicks Gas confirmed that sewer gas was coming from pipes in the basement. Nothing was done about the sewer situation until doctors recommended an inspection of the home. At that point I was blamed and told by the brother living there to never call there again. He lived with my Mother and brainwashed her. I know she use to love me and her great grandchildren. The dementia and years of that bad smell in the house, I have no doubt affected her brain and heart. Being cut off from my Mother and not being able to keep her connected to her great grandchildren was a life experience that cut through my soul. The other brother refused to intervene and has shunned us as well. I was accused of trying to destroy his career. After my Mother broke her hip, she went to live at a nursing home in rural Illinois where we are all able to visit her. The staff are all wonderful and take great care of my Mother in their memory unit. I am so thankful to be able to see my Mother and step back into her past where she “lives”. This movement by the Kasem Foundation is a dream come true as I know many people are in this same predicament. Thank you for caring about those who are being cut off from their loved ones.

  • Kori Buffini
    May 20, 2015 at 9:21 pm

    My story is one that ended with my dad passing away may 18th 2014 the same day my oldest graduated highschool ….. 3;33 pm. He was married to my mom for 35 years .He retired from illinios schools .Worked in Wisconsin ,met his future wife who is a murderer ,not with a weapon ,but just as cold .Yes ! He was married to 2 women . But , meeting this ” other,” women cost him his life .She never let him talk or see us kids .We all had his grandkids who never ,” knew ” him She never gave him proper care , we didn’t have the money to fight her and no lawyers would help us .20 years of hell ended when she called me saying he had ” pneumonia ” to come up .This was surely the worst 5 days of my life …. I went up there to see my dad struggling to breathe unable to speak ” dying ” …Went to graduation to then come back with my kids to meet this man I adore ! ….He passed away before I could ! he is know buried in Wisconsin 6 hours away from his family .She knew he wanted to come home he Told her for years he wanted to come home ,Those were the days she would beat him ,drug him , threatened his kids would pay with there lives.So since his death I’ve tried numerous lawyers to seek justice ,no help he lays in the ground on an Indian burial site .Which is not him he is German .I will never forgive myself for this he lays alone in darkness no one there cares !!!!

  • Julie Rose
    May 20, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    I want to share a tragic true life store with the hope it will help change the laws with regards to aging and ill parents.

    My story takes place in California and starts with a health care worker caring for my mother-in-law in her own home along with my father-in-law both 88 years old, after the passing of my Mother-in-Law this ” nurse” age 48, continued to keep my Father-in-law company and care for him and coerced him to marry her and alienate the family from him. He has bought and paid cash for a home for her, they never lived together. We have talked to attorneys and there is really nothing the family can do, she has taken advantage of him emotionally and financially, made him lie to his family and kept his family from seeing him. We don’t even know the extent of the abuse he has suffered. There are 4 adult children that are all older then their “stepmother” in fact she is the same age as his Grand daughter. The family has no rights! Thank you!

  • Shannon Robert
    May 20, 2015 at 8:19 pm

    While my grandmother was dying I was prevented from seeing her and telling her goodbye. My mother kept me away due to my grandmother’s wealth. She stated that I just wanted access to my grandmothers house so I could take inventory of all of her possessions for my lawyer. I never had a lawyer and I have not received any funds or properties of my grandmothers after her passing. It still hurts my heart to this day that I was kept from my grandmother in her final days and hours. I never got to hold her hand, thank her for loving me and being there for me, assure her that we would all be alright or to tell her goodbye. All I wanted was the opportunity to do these things. It just kills me to think that she wondered where I was and why did I not love her enough to come see her. People don’t understand how their greed and ugliness affect so many people when they keep loved ones from each other.

  • Mary Lupton
    May 19, 2015 at 7:10 pm

    For some reason I couldn’t paste-

    Google-Benjamin Alfano (5 stories) by Steve Duin from the Oregonian. (Oregon) he was my father. I fought desperately for him-well all lost-and still continue to lose.

  • Nanci Meek
    May 16, 2015 at 9:37 am

    Probate and Elder Abuse in Hawaii with our father, a lawyer himself and two term Mayor. For more on our story you can go to our web site http://www.imokproductions.com/home Dad was an attorney and had his affairs in order, naming myself as the Executor and Trustee of his Estate. He and his wife who was from Palau, he had indicated a year before his death, were not getting along and he had concerns for his safety and financial situation. Even going so far as to telling those close to him that he would never travel back to Palau (a US Trust Territory) Medical Forensics proved he was 100% incapacitated at the time his 5th wife and her attorney had him sign documents handing everything over to her and her daughter who lived in Palau. also the attorney who we allege manipulated the situation from Atascadero, California, has been involved with several other corruption situations. Medical Forensics proved he was 100% incapacitated at the time his 5th wife and her attorney had him sign documents handing everything over to her and her daughter who lived in Palau. He had indicated a year before his death that he feared his wife was removing money and sending it to her daughter in Palau, a US Trust Territory. He also indicated to several others that he would never travel to Palau as he had been beaten up in 2000 while his wife and her daughter just stood by watching him and following him to a local hospital in Belau/Palau. Also the attorney, Robert Jones, who we allege manipulated the situation from Atascadero, California, has been involved with several other corruption situations including the manipulation of investors with a man named Kelly Gearhart (you can google that name) as well as an Indian Casino project called Pe Ji Ho Ta. coincidentally there was $646,000 cashed out from my father’s investments just months after he died and before any estate litigation was opened in California. Turns out that figure was the exact amount for a partner buy in to the casino. We were told the FBI and IRS are investigating the case however we have yet to hear of anything or see any results. Go to our web site and you will see how our case progressed and learn about the Evidentiary hearing after the case was abruptly moved to Hawaii during which time the courts would not allow any of our Medical and Document Forensic evidence or the Forged documents to be admitted during the hearing. And we were the ones who asked for the hearing. In the end the Judge and our stepmother’s high priced attorneys asked to have me removed as a Beneficiary since I contested the Trust. If you knew that your father’s trust had been taken advantage of, wouldn’t you. Sorry I will never see any money, however, the satisfaction is knowing all the “players” involved will never do this again to anyone else, thanks to the publicity this case has generated. The IRS became involved because the Bank of Hawaii and the accountants knew about the forged 1st Amendment (there were actually two) and mentioned them in a billing from the attorneys, as well as taking 4 years to file tax returns, lying on tax returns as far as the value of the estate to keep it under $3 million in an effort to not tax the estate. Also the case originated in California and the attorney in Atascadero as soon as our stepmother became a citizen of USA had it moved to Hawaii, then the Bank of Hawaii dismissed themselves as co-trustee once they realized we were not backing down and several trips to Hawaii for myself would happen. I’m sure they hadn’t counted on my tenacity.

  • John Rupert
    May 11, 2015 at 10:55 am

    On January 2, 2005, I received a phone call from my 2 Good Arkansas sisters, in tears, telling me my 82-year old mother (WWII Veteran) – on Home Hospice – and 82-year old father (WWII & Cold War Veteran) were initially being controlled by our other 2 bad sisters and a controlling bad older brother. As the youngest of 8 children, I quickly flew to Arkansas from California to see what was going on, as my 2 good sisters also stated one of my bad sisters was repeatedly overdosing our mother on morphine, with the 2nd bad sister allowing such as an alleged assigned medical proxy. Upon my arrival, indeed, my mother was being overdosed by my oldest/bad sister, who I repeatedly pled for her to tell me who was in control, and she refused to do so. As a result, she went into rages of yelling screaming and cursing at me in front of both of our parents. I also discovered she was under the influence of illegal narcotics, while overdoing our mother and controlling our father, who had been diagnosed by the VA with vascular dementia. I also found the caregiver’s log next to my mother’s home hospice bedside, displaying the volumes of morphine dosages being given to my mother on the left page, and on the right page was my bad sisters financial figures of who she owed large sums of money you and how she was planning to soon pay them off. Unbeknownst to my 2 good sisters and I at the time, there were high-yield life insurance policies on both our parents. For over the prior 2 decades, my 2 good sisters and I were the ones who took care of our parents – with my trips from California, 4 times per year at about 2 weeks each trip – to assist them, because we loved our parents and wanted to serve their best interests served. But when the inheritance money started coming in, initially our 2 bad sisters and 2 bad brothers began jockeying for position to seize control of our parents – a period of about 8 years – and on January 4, 2005, literally pushed me out of my parent’s home. From that point forward, my bad siblings then set forth a campaign to keep my 2 good sisters, their children, and I from our parents. Based on these facts, I pled to the Arkansas VA to seize medical control of our mother’s best interests, but was met with small town adversity, due to a VA Social Worker being friends with my bad sister, the alleged medical proxy and her additional questionable paperwork.

    As a licensed California private investigator with experience in working elder abuse cases, my adverse siblings grew incredibly angry with my presence at our parents home, and just after my mother died on February 11, 2005 in VA Hospital care, my bad siblings hired a caregiver company, the owner, a church friend of my bad sister/alleged medical proxy, who also assisted them in keeping my 2 good sisters, their children, and I from seeing and/or talking by phone to our father for a year and a half. This, after my early 2006 discovery of family trust embezzlement on their behalf, and learned of the caregiver’s criminal felony past, whereby she embezzled funds from an elderly North Little Rock couple.

    Of all of his 4 sons, my father and I seemed the closest, and I was heartbroken to see my eldest brother – who had disowned our parents for nearly 8 years – until the inheritance money started coming in – when he manipulated our father into making him a successor trustee. It would have been far better for dad to have hired an independent trustee, than to have that brother. He was a prodigal son, but did not return home on humble terms, by any means. My other bad brother, a career illegal drug dealer and user, in and out of jail for most of his life, apparently saw our parents assets as his ticket out of the dark-side, and between 2004 and 2005, when detained by undercover task force agents, turned states evidence to save his own ass, and rolled over on his co-drug pipeline associates for a get out of jail free card. One of his associates was an Arkansas Chief of Police, who by 2006 was serving a long prison sentence, with ties to public corruption.

    I flew back to Arkansas on or about February 2, 2015, when again, a caregiver employee told me and my 2 good sisters that our adverse sibling in control of our parents were stealing their assets. My 2 good sisters and I really didn’t care about the money of stuff; we just wanted our parents’ best interests was being met, and given the history of the adverse siblings medically supervising and overdosing our mother on morphine the year before, I soon learned that those 2 high yield life insurance policies had, in fact, been cashed out by “someone” just months prior to my mothers February 11, 2005 death. The records were destroyed after the Funeral Home responsible for maintaining the policy were found to be friends with my eldest bad brother.

    It was all a clear cut case of elder abuse, and as I pled with the Arkansas Pulaski County Sheriff, himself, and his undersheriff Captain to allow my 2 good sisters and I to file a criminal referral against our adverse siblings and the highly questionable caregiver company (Dara Booth – Arkansas Home Care for Seniors), the sheriff refused to allow me to file a complaint, yet continued to want any and all information I had on the situation. So, I continued – in trust – to provide him and his Captain such information. Little did I know in 2006 that the Captain’s former undercover narcotics law enforcement partner, and still good friend, Lonoke Police Chief Jay Campbell was my other bad brothers illegal drug trafficking partner. As a result of my findings, I went to the FBI-Little Rock, where I was met with open arms and the lead Senior Special Agent over the Public Corruption Squad told me, “Mr. Rupert, you have the other half of the case we’ve been working for the past 3 years.”

    By 2009, a full scale public corruption probe was announced via the local media, and 3 North Little Rock City Councilmen/Aldermen were arrested and subsequently indicted for public corruption related charges, one with links to an organized crime family, whose expertise is running interstate illegal drug trafficking. A second of those arrestees was my father’s criminal caregiver, Dara Booth, who is now – in 2015 – under investigation, again.

    By late 2007, my adverse siblings had lawyered up and had their fast-food style lawyer draft a ridiculous letter – still in my possession, with a great many other documents – stating I was not allowed in my father’s house. I tried to contest the letter by a complaint to judicial authorities, but seemingly, all of the lawyers knew each other, including the fact that the lead judicial review board attorney was the wife of the very attorney who drafted my parents living trust, and other attorneys seemed were in bed together, some literally.

    My adverse siblings and their criminal enterprise caregiver company (who hired violent convicted felons and ex-cons to place into the homes of vulnerable elder clients) had made a market-place of my father’s house and were living large off of our parents’ assets. And when I pressed on those issues through our late 2006 lawyer, the bad siblings in Arkansas filed a vexatious April 4, 2007 false criminal complaint against me (in California) with their new law school grad clerk and personal friend at the Pulaski County Prosecutor’s Office, who summoned the assistance of then Pulaski County Sheriff’s Department aforementioned Captain to press charges. I wasn’t even in Arkansas at the time, and had been living in California for years with my own family. My adverse siblings had been heavily involved in violations of trust and elder abuse on our parents, and they knew I wanted to do something about it. As a result, they projected their own faults and bad deeds on me, and the Judge threw out their complaint – Dismissed.

    In then end, by June 2011, our first filed 2007 and second filed 2009 Pulaski County Court case to get an independent Guardian assigned in the best interests of our father was hijacked by our own 2011 lawyer, who we would later find out was a business partner with a dirty attorney/former judge who had been indicted in the mid-1990s on criminal charges, was removed from the bench, was disbarred as an Arkansas attorney, and was arrested for taking illegal bribes in exchange for reduced criminal sentencing of arrestees, in the form of illegal drugs and/or cash. That attorney remains extremely close fronds with the opposing counsel in our then Guardianship case. My bad brother was one of those criminal defendants, several times, who walked out of jail after good, hard-working cops tried to9 keep him off of the streets and from endangering others. Today, that same former disbarred Judge is now a practicing lawyer again, and a prosecutor in a small predominantly African-American small town, a long way from his own Little Rock residence. He is also the same attorney who – several years ago – called on a personal favor to then Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee’s office to spring lose from prison, violent criminal defendant Maurice Clemmons, who after being released in November 2009, moved to Washington State, where he ambushed and murdered 4 police officers.

    Between 2005 and 2011, my adverse siblings and/or their known associates hired and/or commissioned ex-cons and others hateful from Arkansas and California to stalk and harass me and my wife, over and over again, and again. But after our June 2011 end to our failed court case, my 2 good sisters and I still maintained that we received the greatest inheritance any parents could ever leave to their loving, grateful children; the wonderful memories we had in our lifetimes spent with them, absent the others, who – 3 out of those 4 – never really visited our parents unless they wanted money of antique furniture – inheritance items.

    God always seems to have the last word. My father died at his country home in Arkansas with all of his children at his side at just after midnight on his 86th Birthday, and I was at his side per the assigned Judge’s Court Orders. At my dad’s Arkansas National Cemetery grave-site, like my mom’s service, with his casket draped by the American Flag for his service during WWII and the Cold War, after the 21-Gun Salute and an unexpected flyover, the U.S. Air Force Honor Guardsman accidentally handed me my Father’s Flag, instead of my eldest brother. I was unaware that the flag was traditionally handed down to the eldest child.

    I believe that incident was my dad telling me to make one more effort toward peace with my eldest brother by handing him the flag. So later, at the reception, I did just that, and handed him the flag under those very terms. But to that wayward brother, he didn’t and still doesn’t see it that way, and neither did the other adverse 4 siblings, who aided one-another in keeping my 2 good sisters, their children, and me from seeing our father for a year and a half.

    I will continue supporting this foundation, and will gladly offer my services at your requests.

    John Rupert

  • Lisa Caprelli
    May 10, 2015 at 12:37 pm

  • Kim Harbath
    May 3, 2015 at 7:32 pm

    Because of the story below, I am doing a senior project at Weber State University in conjunction with World Elder Abuse Week. It will be a presentation on the prevention of Financial Elder Abuse of Women in Ogden, Utah. If anyone has any ideas or resources you can pass on I would be grateful.

    The story is not written exceptionally well, I just wanted to get it done so that I could post it on your site.

    My story begins with growing up in a small, rural town in Colorado. My brother and I had a typical childhood and upbringing according to the area. My brother and I moved away from the area around 30-35 years ago but always kept in close contact with our parents. I and my daughters saw my mom and dad around 4 times a year, switching travel to see each other every other time. I talked to them almost every day.

    This is a very long involved story as I am sure all of them are so I will try to give you the Reader’s Digest version. My mom had a blood cancer that was managed for 18 years and during that time and as she declined my dad became her caretaker. They were private people, (we lived 13 miles from town) and would not accept help.

    My mother passed away in 2008. I guess you could say we followed a typical course of grief, (whatever that is) until 2012. My dad was extremely lonely and at a loss as to what to do with himself. Like many children, we lived far away, had jobs that were not flexible enough to go home often. In 2011, Dad told me he had a mini-stroke, it was nothing to worry about, he had an MRI and only his vision was affected slightly. I took him at his word although it was after this time we started seeing subtle changes in Dad. Things like acting inappropriately around young women wait staff, using inappropriate language around us and his granddaughters -Things that no one else would pick up on unless they knew Dad and were with him like we were. It was during this time he started talking about various young women who would come by the house and he was paying them to clean.

    I and my daughters usually went home for Christmas, but in 2012 my daughters took me on my first trip to Disneyland. I tried not to feel guilty about not being with Dad, but I still had twinges of guilt. I pacified myself by telling myself that I would go over the spring break at the school I work at. During our conversations, things just seemed off with Dad and I thought I would have a whole week to check on him.

    I and the grand kids went home over Spring break in 2013 and it was at this time things started to unravel. Dad kept talking about a young woman in law enforcement, how beautiful she was and he would describe her in inappropriate terms to my adult children. This upset them greatly. One day, another young woman showed up at the house while I was there. Dad did not let her in and went and greeted her on the lawn. I followed him out another door. It was an uncomfortable situation, the girl would not acknowledge me and Dad gave her keys to his pickup which she took off in. Dad had an old car completely dismantled in his garage which was completely disorganized which was totally unlike our dad. One night, I went to the local, favorite restaurant and ran into good friends of Dad’s. I expressed my concern about these young women hanging around and they said it was a concern of theirs also along with my Dad drinking too much which totally blindsided me. They described how he would show up at their door at night wanting a drink. The whole week I was visiting, I felt unsettled and couldn’t quite grasp what was going on. When I left I told him his drinking was out of control.

    I came back home, (Ogden, Utah) and was just lost for a week. I just couldn’t figure out what to do and had to put my thoughts together about what I had seen. Later that week, I called my brother (Jim) and tried to relay how things were off. We decided we would plan a trip together at the end of June or beginning of July to check this out.

    Just a week after I had been to visit Dad, a woman named Julie (who mom and Dad had known for a while and I was never in touch with” called me to inform me that Dad was talking about paying off one of the womans $60.000.00 student loan. She cried and said she considered Dad a father figure and didn’t want him to be taken advantage of. She also connected me to Darryl, a man I had never met and who was a good friend of Dads. Jules and Darryl had been discussing for a long time about contacting me about how Dad was giving women money. My brother, sister-in-law and I scrambled that night and the next day to figure out how to block it. Of course we could not. It was at this time that we moved our trip up to visit Dad as soon as possible which was the end of May.

    It was during this time that we tried to figure out what to do. My brother sought out an attorney who specialized in Elder Care and she informed us that financial exploitation of the elderly is rampant and many times it is young women taking advantage of elderly men who are lonely. Although she said there was probably not too much that could be done (because my dad had not been declared incompetent) she did suggest a couple of things. She said to try “softball” it with him and talk to him and have him open up to what was going on. (I did not do a good job with this) She also suggested that we make an appointment with his Dr. and a family therapist (which my dad would never agree visiting), and make sure all the paperwork was in order. She also outlined that as a last resort we could get Adult Protective Services involved and perhaps a court ordered psychiatric evaluation.

    It was also during this time that I became more and more acquainted with Darryl (we became friends) who had become acquainted with Dad through Julie who had known Mom and Dad for a while. (This woman was a married airline stewardess with two children, who Mom had gotten to where she would not let in the house-we didn’t pay much attention to that because we lived far away-although I do remember mom describing Julie and that it made her uncomfortable the way she dressed and that she would ask my Dad to buy her items at the grocery store when he went into town and she would never pay him (them) back.)

    What was shocking is that Darryl is that told me he had been with Dad various times that Dad had wired Julie at least $7,000.00. Darryl also told me that Dad had told him Jules had stolen Dad’s credit card and charged 1.800.00 on it in another state. Dad also told us he had loaned her $1000.00 to start a business. She also hit him up to buy from her MLM business. Julie has not been held accountable for the credit card fraud in Colorado and when Dad confronted her about it, she cried and preyed on his emotions. This is the woman who originally called me about being concerned paying off the other woman’s student loan. This type of fraud is a felony in Colorado and Julie has not been held accountable for it. She lives in another state now.

    At this time, I also found out that a 19 year old woman named Miranda, had been taking money from dad for her “Diabetes” She had been in trouble, had a boyfriend who had spent prison time and dad thought he was helping her. Dad had ended up giving her and supplying her with 3 cars. She ended up stealing a gun and $1,000.00 of keepsake silver coins that my grandparents had given my brother that my dad had at his house. She was arrested, spent a night in jail and my Dad went to her hearing and supported her! Darryl also told us over the last two years each time Dad made bail for Miranda and her boyfriend. I even talked to Miranda’s probation officer and she said that Miranda had been in trouble since she was 14 and that what she was doing to dad was the way she operated and once Dad was gone, she would just find someone else. (Again, the law couldn’t do anything because Dad had not been declared incompetent. We have estimated that Dad loaned Miranda at least $30.000.00 in cars, cash, clothes and goods.

    Another woman entered this picture by the name of Rita. She used her cancer diagnosis and promised Dad “extra benefits” to have Dad lend her $12.000.00. She owed other businesses in Montrose money and also moved to another state.

    Another young woman (19) told my dad she was in the states illegally and was going to be deported if she couldn’t pay the attorney in Denver. He gave her the money; she left and never saw him again.

    There is a woman living with him now who stalked him at the Denny’s restaurant where he frequents. He told my brother and I she was well off and things would be okay. We found out she has no money, nowhere to go and is addicted to gambling and has gone through at least $70,000.00 in the last two years. She also drives my dad around while he has been drinking which has contributed to him becoming an alcoholic. My mom’s and many of our things are still in the house and I have heard that she has gotten rid of many of them. She has refused to help us.

    Anyway, through all of this, 7 women have scammed my dad in excess of $150,000.00 and he no longer owns his home because he took a reverse mortgage out to give them money. He has slid into alcoholism and our family relationships are fractured.

    My story is much longer than this, but we have done everything in our power and are at a loss now watching helplessly. We consulted the attorney and Dad’s Dr. The Montrose police have been involved all along the way (we told them that dad had been drinking and driving) and I have sent all the documentation to them for the last two years. We finally got APS involved and they said Dad was competent. (He is not holding his hand on a hot stove, agggh!.) Jim and I decided not to do the court ordered psychiatric evaluation because Dad had told us he would “take care of things” if we did that. I have approached all the women through certified, restricted, letters send through the USPS. They all go running, crying to my dad. We tried to get Dad to move near my brother and he refused.

    My dad has memory loss, hearing loss, macular degeneration and is an alcoholic. Before all of this happened Dad had the financial means to take good care of himself . That was a comfort to us. Now he does not.

    We do have co-power of attorney, but it doesn’t help us. And he could change that at any given time. What is sad is that if something happens to Dad, I am sure the woman living with him now will run.

    It is has been a very emotional, sad, heartbreaking journey for our family. There are days I just feel nauseated. These women are out “there” getting away with this.

    Kim

  • Teresa Maxwell
    May 2, 2015 at 9:31 am

    My mother Geraldine Strege was isolated from her longtime friends, family, priest and grandchildren in Washington State. Geraldine was moved against her wishes and abused and severely beaten 2 weeks before she passed away. Our elderly should never, ever, be isolated from their loved ones or abused.

  • Laureen Eck
    May 1, 2015 at 12:07 pm

    First of all – THANK YOU KERRI!

    All these stories break my heart! Together we can all make a difference and make changes happen.

    ————————————————————————————————————————

    My mother and I have been extremely close my whole life. She is the love of my life!

    Approximately three years ago, as moms health continued to decline her so called “boyfriend” has taken over. I have been shut off from all communication. My mothers “boyfriend” and I do not see eye to eye on much of anything. My mother always told me, he was jealous of the close relationship she and I had. (how sick it that?) I am blocked from calling and have zero communication with my mom. This boyfriend has her under lock and key at his home. He makes it extremely difficult for anyone to communicate and or visit with my mom. He continues to alienate others as well, moms best friend and even her sister are blocked from calling the house.

    Just like Kerri, the boyfriend claims I am after her money etc. I am VERY CONCERNED about her well being. I feel she has been manipulated, and abused both emotionally and psychologically. She deserves to see her daughter, and friends. She needs love and laughter in her life. I deserve to see her!

    This whole situation has been the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with in my life. I think about my mom every single day. My heart is broken. This is so upsetting and so so wrong!!!!

    I have reached out to multiple attorneys. The advice is not encouraging, good luck with a long expensive guardianship case. Also, no luck with the social or case workers either. I live in Colorado and my mom is in Massachusetts, which makes it even more difficult. I can tell the social workers have been educated by the boyfriend that I am the crazy daughter looking for money etc. I have my own money, this has never been about “the money” I feel my mothers money should be spent on her and her well being. What ever she wants, whatever makes her happy, right?!

    The boyfriend took control of her finances and her home a few years ago. He is hiding her money and I believe committing fraud as he claims, on her behalf that she has zero funds. Therefore taking advantage of Mass Health and Medicare.

    The boyfriend also befriended another older woman prior to her passing a few years back. Guess who has all her money and personal belongings now? I find it very difficult to believe that this wonderful sweet old woman he befriended didn’t have any family or friends??

    There have been so many red flags with this so called boyfriend. My mom talked about ending the relationship for years. But, for whatever reasons stayed stuck in the relationship. The ugly awful sad story goes on and on…

    I just want to be able to talk to her, like we used to. I would love to visit with her, hug and kiss her. Make her laugh again… I need my mother and she needs me!!!

    This law is so important to me and I would like to prevent this awful situation from happening to others . IT IS SO WRONG!! If my mom was able to comprehend any of the current situation she would be absolutely horrified!!

    Again, thank you for your support and all your efforts Kerri!

  • Sara Hernandez
    April 30, 2015 at 8:48 am

    this is heart breaking I am and will always be a daddy girl, he has been diagnosed with alezhmiers and dementia and my brother has took it upon his self to take all of dads land and money and has isolated dad from us for the past 4 years it has been horrible I am in nm and dad is in ark and there is no power of attorney, but yet my brother claims that there is a conflict and all we want is his money, he even has the authority’s believing such lies, they will not help. so I am so happy to see this bill and I can not Waite until it is in all of the states . more to this story

  • TerrySiford
    April 25, 2015 at 10:20 pm

    Dear Friends,

    At the core of what we all have been dealing is gross violation of the Constitutional rights of our deprived loved ones….“…nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law:…” We must ask ourselves; have our loved ones been deprived of any or all of these enumerated and basic rights as listed in the 5th and 14th Amendments to our Constitution? Why have our courts fallen so far that they are generally unable to recognize the deprivation of these rights relative to our loved ones who have fallen prey to the “system”?

    Iowa now has two laws on the books addressing and criminalizing Elder Abuse, Financial Exploitation and isolating our loved ones from their families. We have no choice but to litigate these matters. On the Elder Abuse, standardized forms are offered, substitute petitioners have standing, notice of service is free of charge and all filing fees are waived. The sooner we take advantage of this huge opportunity, the better!

    Jay

  • Gerald Story
    April 25, 2015 at 6:47 pm

    My father GERALD’S life was hasten due to the massive OVERDRUGGING of antiphyscotic drugs. R.I.P DADDY, JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED. GERALD was abused emotionally, physically, and chemically Please Watch : http://youtu.be/UT7sGB5qXnU America Tonight, Sheila MacVicar investigates GERALD’S Story. Gerald’s Abuse occurred in the City of Mission Viejo, CA.

    http://youtu.be/rfDfFxRwRMU

  • Jay Driesen
    April 25, 2015 at 5:54 am

    Hi Kerrie,

    It was truly a wonderful experience to see you yesterday in Governor Branstad’s office for the signing of SF 306. I would have a hard time right now doing much more than tending to the two suits I have filed and the other in preparation for our Mother. You are certainly free to post this “story of our Mother” if you desire to do so. I am in the process of using the new IA Elder Abuse law (IA Code 235F) for our Mother.

    This is the link for her story: http://stopguardianabuse.org/dorothydriesen.htm

  • Sherry Johnston
    April 23, 2015 at 4:13 pm

    Willie Jo Mills was a sweet lady (mother of Sherry Johnston) who suffered a stroke in Oct 2007. Her Son forced her into a guardianship with a private guardian while the family was begging him not to. Mother cried and cried pleading them not to do this to her. Mother was forced into guardianship without clear and convincing evidence and by a jury. She was drugged to the point she was addicted to Vicodin and had to go to the hospital several times for overdose. The doctor faked papers saying she was totally incapacitated. Mother never lost her ability to reason with her mind just that she was paralyzed on her right side from the stroke in 2007 . The professional guardianship provider David Dexel threatened us stating ” THAT IF WE GIVE HIM ANY TROUBLE HE WOULD PUT MOM WHERE WE WOULD NEVER SEE HER” Finally In Dec 2012 I threatened David to have him removed for trying to put mom on Hospice with just a mere UTI infection causing her to almost die from neglect.. He retaliated May 17,2013 by revoking my visitation having Silverado Senior Living call 911 and state that “I HAVE A GUN AND GET ME OUT NOW” . Mom suffered a broken tibia and fibula June 18,2013 . She had to wait 3 hours before they took her to the emergency room. My visitation was reinstated for 4 hours and then revoked again. David drugged mom with the EXELON patch and almost killed her causing her severe leg cramps and nausea . He made her wear it anyway. In Sept 2013 David Resigned and Ginger Lott his buddy became Successor Guardian and really cranked up the abuse. She stopped me from juicing mom and decided that she had a swallowing problem and then stopped the EXELON patch and started forcing CHOLESTEROL meds that were causing severe leg cramps. Ginger kept abusing and abusing. Candice filed 2 Emergency Restraining orders that were ignored by Judge Christine Butts . Judge Christine Butts made fun of our situation stating “THAT IF SHE EVER NEEDED A GUARDIAN FOR HER PARENTS , SHE WANTED IT TO BE DAVID DEXEL”. The court appointed attorneys Howard Reiner and Clarinda Comstock just ran up attorney fees that mom had to pay and did nothing to help mom. Judge Butts appointed Louis Ditta to defend Ginger Lott actions as we were the problem. Mother was so sick April 20,2014 that Ginger refused to take mom to the hospital. I called 911 and the fire department sent an ambulance and EMERITUS along with GINGER LOTT sent them away then about a hour later GINGER texted us saying that another private ambulance is going to take mom to Methodist Hospital. Mom was sent by herself to the hospital with a note on her stomach to sign herself in, the list of meds she was taken cut out of the log and a “DO NOT RESUSCITATE “. GINGER never showed up. Mom was so sick that she weighed about 100lbs. Mom was moved to skilled nursing where it got worse. . More drugs, no water, loosing weight, nasty e-mails from Ginger until finally the sitters, GINGER and EMERITUS started giving mom water from a spoon to really make her sick. Mom was left for 5 days with delirium before finally taking her to King Wood emergency room when the sitter gave false medical records. The sitter claimed mom was a diabetic which was a lie. Ginger and the sitters kept adding more and more medical symptoms like now she has Diabetes, Kidney failure etc. The doctor that put mom in guardianship is the same doctor that put mom on Hospice without even seeing her because of family conflict. Mom died Sept 27, 2014 one year after GINGER LOTT became Successor Guardian weighing less than 90 lbs

  • Ellen Oxman
    April 21, 2015 at 3:58 am

    My mother, a former pin-up girl from WWII, married to my father, the Chief Civilian Scientist for the Signal Corps, who installed the radar at Pearl Harbor, the VT fuse on the atomic bomb, and more, has been seized by the State of NY in their draconian Mental Hygiene 81 “Guardianship” laws. She is not even a resident of NY but was visiting me from her home state of NJ, where she still owns a home that she is not allowed to sell as the County and a relative want it for themselves, as well as all of her art work, etc. She has been placed in a substandard nursing home in the Bronx, where she knows no one, and has a Guardian. Let me stress, she is not even from NY but NY Courts have seized her and she is now, against her will and Power of Attorney documents, warehoused in the Bronx. If someone goes to visit that tries to “free” her or photograph her injuries, they are threatened with arrest, as I have been, her daughter. She is found black and blue, starved, and drugged. The public needs to know about “Guardianship” laws/exploitation. It’s a huge industry in every state, and very corrupt. The money is laundered through Wall Street banks. Very scary. Not our country any longer. We need to expose and fight this.

  • Anonymous Anonymous
    April 20, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    Her prison will not allow me to call Mom or Mom to call me. I live 17 hours away so a visit is not realistic, if I could even do that. Her guardians will not allow her to be represented or to carry out her own wish of being cared for by my wife and myself in our paid-for home driving our paid-for older cars.
    (I was accused of seeking money while my brother is soaked in debt; my sister recovers from the financial effects of a nasty divorce but otherwise lives quite well on her government pension. I did four thousand dollars of unpaid work plus two thousand in lost wages and in travel to work on Mom’s re-roofing. I’m self employed.)

    These sibling characters are: actors, con artists and socially psychopathically sweet to peers and the community who aren’t savvy enough to sniff deceit and misrepresentation when presented to them. They self validate plunder of the honest work of others. They feel entitled and feel free to wreck “caught” friends and lovers.

    Mom had the classic story. She fell ill with influenza type A and was taken to the hospital whereby I was barred from contact and she by temporary guardianship entered under their control. They stole her from her home of fifty years and seized all her possessions. They barred me from any contact, even while not under court order to allow that. Instead patient files and Power of Attorney were used to bully hospital staff. She was drugged and began doing and saying things she’s never been known to do in her life. Then came re-hab.

    Mom bounced back fairly quickly in re-hab hoping to be restored to her home and way of life. Instead she was electronically and chemically restrained for being aggressive. As is the hospital, I called the staff’s bluff and called my mom daily. Trouble though, was it would take 6,8,10 calls/several hours to find her, wake her, wait for nurses, get hung up on, meals, lost phone, no answer etc. And the paperwork continued..no one to represent her or me amidst the spiralled blindsiding. It was now quite clear this was evolving into a meritless, control-and-vendetta-only, guardianship.

    She found herself in a dementia unit one day, having been escorted without notice and rehab nastily said they would not tell me where Mom was taken to. I was not told Mom’s whereabouts for several weeks and once again; I was told not to call her but I did anyway. Mom became irate and determined to escape having even rallied an escape party. She was drugged to control her only to have her defecating literally everywhere in the unit. The unit administrator promptly expelled her.

    ..to the psych ward. More this and that including physical restraints. She nor I was allowed phone contact yet again. I got a call through only to have someone “hovering”. Mom said we needed to abort the call. A passcode was assigned but upon bypassing it Mom was already re-assigned and I had completely trashed my reputation into being labeled a nuisance.

    I lost all contact with Mom until an angel located her for me. I couldn’t get the passcode and that’s where the story remains. There is a slight caveat though. Mom was locked into a pricey facility but the fact remains she has been stripped off all rights, decisions, contact with me, home, property, car, all monies, travel, past history and friends — everything. She is now owned by my brother and sister. Mom loathes my brother and only puts up with my sister’s annihilation of me and others to receive “willing victim compensation” such as visits, treats, gifts and what not.

    Loathing, anger, hatred,.. none of these even come close to the cruel atrocity being committed against Mom and me by my siblings. The day it becomes legal to seize her and re-locate to another jurisdiction I will do anything required to rescue Mom.

  • Vida Amaral
    April 8, 2015 at 6:42 am

    Isolation of our mother by a sister that kidnapped our mother into her house and blocked half of the family from getting access and visit our mother.

    There was a co-guardianship and co-trust in place. But the unilateral take over is beyond believe.

    The courts are tied down from stopping this kind of abuse and Isolation.

    Since the demented elder is under their watch in their house no law in the land can stop these wicked people from blocking loved ones to be with our frail elderly parents.

    Legal nightmare. Neutral guardianship are nothing but financial exploitation and cashing in until no more financial gains.

    Our elderly are suffering . This is dishonorable and a plague in our country. Freedom for our elderly is what “Kasem Foundation ” is pushing and advocating nationwide.

    Thank you for your advocacy. You have been a source of hope.

  • Vida Amaral
    April 8, 2015 at 6:41 am

    Isolation of our mother by a sister that kidnapped our mother into her house and blocked half of the family from getting access and visit our mother.

    There was a co-guardianship and co-trust in place. But the unilateral take over is beyond believe.

    The courts are tied down from stopping this kind of abuse and Isolation.

    Since the demented elder is under their watch in their house no law in the land can stop these wicked people from blocking loved ones to be with our frail elderly parents.

    Legal nightmare. Neutral guardianship are nothing but financial exploitation and cashing in until no more financial gains.

    Our elderly are suffering . This is dishonorable and a plague in our country. Freedom for our elderly is what “Kasem Foundation ” is pushing and advocating nationwide.

    Thank you for your advocacy. You have been a source of hope.

  • Pat G.
    March 22, 2015 at 7:07 am

    Hi, we too have a similar story . our dad is still alive but he has cancer, he has dementia yes he has been married to his wife for 50 years, all 50 years she has kept our dad from us . she has been jealous of us since the day she met us . when we got a chance to ever talk to him it was always with her right there in the conversation in which he nor us could get a word in . so from small children to adults we we’ve never been allowed to have our dad in our lives. She even went as far as to adopt a child just to say they had a child together, she pretended she gave birth to him, her sister told us how she wore a pillow under her clothes to pretend as if she was pregnant. Now how sick was that. Jealous of your husband’s three daughters just that much. But thank God our Mother always took excellent care of us. Our Mother is gone now and we only have each other. Our Dad has been taken from the state of Florida by his wife and her family. To Ohio, she’s been committed to a facility and my dad is there living with her sister. Going back a bit in my story. Our step brother that they adopted was the sweetest brother anyone could ask for. But he passed away a few years ago at about the age of 29 or so.he too was heartbroken about the way she treated his sisters. We loved him dearly. Well anyway she had planned to leave everything to him, granted we never asked for anything from them. But our Dad worked hard all his life, and never even saw his paychecks, and when he retired, he still never saw his pension check. Now that he is there her niece has taken over her care but the state is involved with that too. Anyway they have our dad, when he has three daughters, he still can’t be with. There’s more to the story but I don’t have time to tell all.thank you.

  • Marisa Conover
    March 21, 2015 at 9:46 pm

    Our beloved Elderly are being robbed of their Constitutional, Civil, Human and Patient Rights by Unethical Staff in Nursing Homes~! My Mother, Genine Zizzo, is featured in America Tonight’s Exclusive Expose’ “Drugging Dementia” – “Nursing Home Nightmare”. My Mom did not have Dementia. She did have a Heart Condition. She was an alert, Independent Woman who still lived in the home I grew up in, but had an accidental fall at home and sprained her back. Hospital X-Ray showed NO Fracture. Hospital recommended 1 to 2 wks of Physical Therapy in a SNF and then return home. This is the chilling account of how she was FORCIBLY INJECTED by an Unscrupulous Nurse at ROSEVILLE POINT HEALTH AND WELLNESS CENTER with the Dangerous and Powerful Anti-Psychotic Drug Haldol, Against Her Will and Against MY Orders as her Durable and Medical Durable Power Of Attorney. She died 12 days later in an Irreversible Vegetative State, Dehydrated, a Urinary Tract Infection, Multiple Organ Failure and a FRACTURED SPINE! I will NOT rest until the Malicious Staff are held Accountable for this Crime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfDfFxRwRMU

  • Misty Davis
    March 20, 2015 at 7:54 pm

    Guardianship Laws Need To Be Changed! Please share!

    Legally Kidnapped And this is what #alienation looks like.

    29 years ago I met a beautiful soul, Jim. I call him brother; Jim has an Intellectual disability. My parents adopted Jim and brought him into our home when he was five years of age. After 27 years of marriage our parents divorced and dad ended up remarrying. In 2013 our father died of complications of his military service (i.e. Agent Orange) and left his current wife as legal Guardian of Jim. My mother never gave up her rights to her son.

    My brother’s #guardian has restricted him from seeing his mother and entire family that he grew up knowing. Driven to find freedom for my brother we’ve encountered countless days of unwanted stress. I have been accused or harassment while simply trying to see my brother. I miss him. His mom misses him. His nephew misses him. I’m simply trying to right this awful wrong! I’ve reached out to several political figures. I can only imagine the torment and pain my brother is going through.

    Finally, a year and a half after our father died I found my brother out in public in his hometown of Washington, Iowa. He seemed so lost and confused; he resembled a deer in headlights. He then stuck his arms out and hugged me. His caregiver, Libby preceded to say he does not love you and doesn’t want to see you as she instantly called his guardian. My brother and my son were hugging as Jim’s guardian appeared. His guardian released my son from Jim’s arms and preceded to tell us we couldn’t touch him because she is his guardian and he’s her property!

    I have learned this is not just an issue for my family but others in Iowa and all over our country. Guardians should have limitations and the ward should be able to see and speak to whomever they wish if they are not dangerous, I have started an online petition. (See link http://petitions.moveon.org/sign/how-to-save-a-life-freejimmy-1 I also have a Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/guardianshiplaws that includes pictures and video of Jim and my reunion in the street!! And you are more than welcome to view the stories of others which are posted from time to time.

    There’s nothing on file stating we cannot see or communicate with one another only a suggestion by the Judge to improve communication between Dad’s second wife and myself.

    Guardianship laws need to be changed. Giving the voiceless a voice.

    Check out the bill that’s been introduced to free Jimmy:

    http://coolice.legis.iowa.gov/Cool-ICE/default.asp?Category=billinfo&Service=Billbook&frame=1&GA=86&hbill=SSB1162

    #humanrights

    http://freejimmy.org/

  • Cynthia Saba
    March 20, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    My Dad remarried about 7 years after our Mom passed away in 1987. Little by little, his wife separated him from me and my sisters. But there was little she could do to break the strong family ties we shared. That is, util my Dad started to suffer the effects of dementia. They have lived in Florida for several years. My Dad is 86 now. Beginning about 3 years ago, angered by us taking our Dad back to Massachusetts to care for him (he was unable to live on his own and take care of his basic needs) while she was in the hospital for several months, recuperating and rehabbing from a stroke, she completely cut him off from us once she was home, and he returned to Florida. Our Dad would have never stood for this type of treatment before his dementia took hold of his mind. Now, he feels helpless to do anything about the situation. He has been completely manipulated and emotionally and psychologically abused . Our phone calls are blocked and visits are not allowed in their gated community. We have hired lawyers, filed complaints, written letters. All to no avail. My Dad appears to those who do not see him frequently, to be capable of making his own decisions. But this is not so. Only those who know his nature and his history would be able to see the effect this manipulation has had on him. We fear that we will not know if something happens to him. We need for there to be some law in place that says we have a right to visit our Dad and spend time with him . I’m hoping that through this foundation, we will soon have that right.

  • Duane Eklof
    March 15, 2015 at 12:44 am

    My story began at the beginning of 1985 when my grandpa William W. Shields died. During the early 80’s, my grandparents made the fatal mistake of making my uncle (Kenneth W. Shields) the ‘guardian’ of their affairs. That error came back to bite my grandma later on in her life.

    When my grandpa passed in 1985, he made sure that everything was updated and fixed in their house so that my grandma would have years of comfort in a home that they owned in Kansas City, MO since 1941. That wasn’t meant to be though, as after my grandpa’s passing, my uncle did little (if ANYTHING) to keep my grandma in a home that was fully repaired, as he allowed my grandma to use her bathroom sink to take baths with, as he didn’t want to get her bathtub repaired. Along with that, he replaced the locks on her front and back entrances with three different kinds of locks after a freak robbery, so that she had to use THREE different keys to get in and out of the place! He also kept promising to get her enclosed porch repaired, along with getting her house a new coat of paint, but he always had the excuse that he’d have it done when ‘his people’ got around to it. Funny thing was that ‘his people’ found PLENTY of time to repair a 1979 Toyota Cressida that got totaled from a freak accident my grandma had with the vehicle in 1993, and he kept it in her garage to taunt her, making her think that the accident was her fault, when in reality, she had to get up for an early dental appointment, and she happened to hit a blind spot which temporarily blinded her, making her unable to see the red light at a left turn signal. For the final years of her life, she kept blaming herself that the accident was her fault, and my uncle was ‘nice enough’ to take her to court to get her driver’s license revoked! He also wouldn’t allow me to have someone come and clean her basement, even though it was filled with junk that had no use whatsoever, so it stayed in there cluttering up the place until she passed in 1998.

    Besides his lack of concern for keeping up my grandma’s home, my uncle Ken was also EXTREMELY jealous for me helping her out with her many doctors visits, and repairs around the home. If it weren’t for me, a new set of blinds bought by my grandpa in the mid 80’s would still have been sitting under his bed instead of on the windows after I installed them! He was also hellbent on thinking that everything he did was right, as when we questioned him about a light fixture being installed upside down, he went ballistic on me and my mom, thinking we didn’t know anything about home repair! This same man also went nuts about me buying flood lights for my grandma’s outdoor fixtures, even though I got them for half the price that regular stores charged. I also had to get my grandma away from ‘crackpot doctors’ my uncle used for her health, as the eye doctor that removed her cataracts was a quack, as she never could see correctly after the procedure was done, and I finally told her after the last visit to that office that I’d take her to her regular eye doctor of 40 years, but not to that person, and she agreed, which really pissed him off! She also went to a medical doctor who didn’t diagnose her colon cancer correctly, so she had to deal with going to the bathroom constantly for five years without knowing a definitive answer to her health problem – she didn’t know the diagnosis until a month prior to her untimely death with another doctor! I could have killed that man for that! He also didn’t like the fact that I suggested she use non-carbonated checks, as she thought they were easier to use, even though he liked them so he could check up on her spending. He also despised the fact that I helped her get better appliances when she needed them, as well as me and my mom helping her out on a bi-weekly basis with regular chores! His family wasn’t much better to her, as my cousin got married on her birthday without even consulting her about it, invited her sister up for a visit when she told everyone for years that she didn’t get along with her well in person, and finally, my uncle thought she didn’t know about training her pet dogs, and blamed her for their problems instead of doing something to fix them. My cousin also gave my grandma a cat in which he rarely got groomed, therefore, the cat’s feces were hanging from the bottom of its rear fairly often, and she was left cleaning up after the mess most of the time!

    The thing that hurt me the most were two phone calls my uncle made to my grandma in which he was literally yelling at her, just because I was there at her home either helping her out, or just spending time with her – you could hear him yelling at her from across the room, almost being able to make out each word that he was saying! I will never forget one of the last words she had to say about him before her untimely passing in 1998, “If he’s the guardian, then what the hell is he guarding me from?”

    My grandma’s funeral in June of 1998 was a farce, in that music was played that she would never listen to, she was made up to almost look like a clown, and the person talking about her didn’t know one damn thing about her, as she never knew her in life! My uncle and his family went through her home like a tornado after she passed, and it really made me want to cry to see a home that I loved dearly was being torn apart like that!

    Kudos to Kerri Kasem for bringing elder abuse to light – if I knew about that back then, I would have sued to take the guardianship away from my Uncle Ken, and my grandma could have lived a longer (and more healthier) life because of it!

    Thank you for proving a forum to vent on things like this Kerri – it’s greatly appreciated!

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